Friday, December 09, 2005

CUSTOMER CARE today and tomorrow

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020
>
> Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."
>
> Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
>
> Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
> Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........
> on......889861356102049998-45-54610"
>
> Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17
> Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and
> your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now
> Sir?"
>
> Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
>
> Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
>
> Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
>
> Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
>
> Customer: "How come?"
>
> Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
> pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
>
> Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
>
> Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
>
> Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
>
> Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes"
> from the National Library last week Sir"
>
> Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
> much will that cost?"
>
> Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The
> total is $49.99"
>
> Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
>
> Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit
> card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October
> last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your
> housing loan, Sir."
>
> Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and
> withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
>
> Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your
> daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
>
> Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash
> ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
>
> Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can
> always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
>
> Customer: " What!"
>
> Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a
> Scooter,...registration number 1123..."
>
> Customer: " ????"
>
> Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
>
> Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
> bottles of cola as advertised?"
>
> Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're
> also
>
> diabetic....... "
>
> Customer: #$$^%&$@$%
>
> Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987
> you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"
>
> Customer: [Faints]

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