Tuesday, January 31, 2006

President of the UNITED STATES - Mrs. Hillary?

President Mrs Clinton..!

“The frontrunner for the Democrat nomination for president in 2008, Hillary Clinton is heading into a hall of opposition after a poll showed last week that most Americans would not vote for her…” Times International.

“I like Hillary,” said a banker from New York, “but it could prove to be a little dangerous fer the rest of the women in our country if she is elected! Jes’ fancy my young daughter going for a conducted tour of the White House; she passes the Oval room and suddenly finds someone coming out from behind de curtains. “Hi!” says dis tall man, you want to see de other side of the White House? Come wid me, I’ll be yer guide!” My poor daughter she nearly faints and runs to catch up wid de rest of the group. “What happened?” asks de guide. “I saw Bill Clinton,” she says, and he made a pass at me!”

“Lady!” says de guide, dis is his house too, you’re his guest, either please him or you’ll have to leave! Mrs Clinton in de White House is too dangerous fer de rest of de wimmin in America. Dat Bill he’ll even make a pass at me wife!”

A voter from Texas, asked how he would like to have Hillary in the White House, grinned, “Heck, we’re damn used to havin’ a Presiden’ who likes joggin’ and cyclin’ and horsin’ around, we like to show de rest of de world dat our president has muscles not jes’ between his ears but on dem shoulders and thighs too, but what is Mrs Clinton gonna do? Sunbathe? Sit on de White House porch in her bikini and show de world her skimpy figure? I donna how de world will think of us? And I don’ know whether I’m particularly fond of Mrs Clinton’s figure!”

“Maybe we could have Chelsea in a bikini dad?” said the Texan’s son.

“Awe man in dat case I’d prefer Hillary!” guffawed his dad.

A man from Lexington, Kentucky looked a bit worried when queried: “Wiv’ bin avin cowboy presidents fer sometime now,” he murmured, “and its bin fun to see dere guns blazin’ all over Afghanistan and Iraq and Kuwait, but never me heard of a cow girl! I begin to git de gut feelin’ dat de woman will stop shootin’ and shoutin’ at de world and will start doin’ wimmin’ things. Shucks dats boring y’know!”

“What wimmin’ things?” asked the journalist.

“Like lookin’ after babies and wimmin’ and ole people. Shellin’ out social security and health care! Shucks dem wimmin’ dey only know ‘bout carin’ and nursin’, what we ‘Mericans need is a trigger happy feller, not a mammy kissin’ wommin..!”

“So Senator Clinton?” asked the same journalist as she met Hillary at JFK airport, “Are you planning to run for President in 2008?”

“I don’t know,” said Hillary, “I hate that ole haunted house!”

“Why?” asked the puzzled journalist.

“Too many ghosts!”

“You mean Honest Abe and Eisenhower and Kennedy?”

“No, Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones, Jennifer Flowers and Linda Tripp and….Bill!” screamed Hillary as she caught his hand as it tried to reach out and grope…


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