JEET, AMRIKAWALLAH, LOOKING FOR A DESI BRIDE IN INDIA

--kenchee aitho(n) maro--

SINGH'N RAP IV
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O Balle Balle Balle ... YO YO YO!
The maddest and the baddest is back again
With another wild rap to drive you insane


So whoz the story 'bout this time?
Well its all 'bout Jeet - me partner'n rhyme

Remember the dude who married a gori?
Well he's back again in yet another story !!

Refresh your minds when the dude got dumped

When Gina suddenly said ciao and left him stumped

Now a year has passed since that sorrowful day
And our veer has since come a long way

He wrote a dozen letters to his dear mum
Saying "Maaf Karna Ji, I was a real bum!"


"Arranged Marriage,
Buss Arranged Marriage is the only true way
That an ishq connection will forever stay"

"Valentine's Day is almost here
And the smell of ishq is in the air!"


"So mummy ji, please find me a sohni vohti
Who'll make me the saag and maki di roti"

His mum read the letters and wept with joy
What wonderful words to hear from her boy!

"Oh Jeetya, mera beta, aja mera raja

I forgive you I forgive you so aja vayee aja"

"There's a beautiful and dutiful vohti for you
So chhaytee vapas aja and we'll find her for you"

Jeet jumped on a plane the very next day

And was soon back home eating paronthhay

Mummy ji then opened the album
And asked Jeet to make his selection

There was Neeti from Ludhiana and Preeti from Patiala
And Meena from Samrala and Reena from Ambala!


The photos of girls went on and on ...
And Jeet kept looking until 'twas dawn!

It sure was hard trying to choose
So Jeet thought ...
Let's meet them all there's nothing to lose!

His head was now spinning outta control

As he pulled out the dice and began to roll!

Three showed up, so who could that be?
Yep that meant a trip to see Preeti!

They got to Patiala just before four
And Preeti's father opened the door


They talked and talked for a quite a long while
And man, was it great to see everyone smile!

But then her dad learnt all 'bout Gina ...
Could Preeti marry Jeet? ... Na jee na!

Jeet's mum tried real hard to change his mind

Hoping that those events could be put behind ...

Mera beta is a top scientist in New York city
Working for a company making plenty of money

He drives a Toyota - yes a phully-loaded Camry!
And has a beautiful condo in the city


He is a caring and loving young man ofcourse
So let's not talk about his innocent divorce!

But Preeti's father was hard to convince
And in his eyes, Jeet was no prince!

So that then called for a trip to Jalandhar

To meet an MBBS girl called Narinder

She was sitting and reading on the balcony
Buried in a tome that read Human Anatomy

She wore glasses so thick - Jeet could swear ...
They were the latest in bullet-proof designer wear!


He asked her then if her nickname was Nerd
But she just looked away not saying a word!

Jeet then decided to show off his knowledge
By recalling something he'd learnt in college

The human body has 200 bones do you know ...

... 206 she interrupted but children have more

She then began naming them all
And Jeet just smiled and stared at the wall

She talked about Caesarean sections
And about heart bypass operations


But when the subject changed to vasectomies
Jeet just cringed and said: "Mummy, next please!"

So then to Jagraon they went to see Mohno
But Jeet messed up when he said: "Ki haal ai Moto!"


She glared at him right in the eye
And Jeet knew right then it was goodbye!

So the barfi and laddoo were still nowhere in sight
And everyone by now was dying for a bite!

In Chandigarh, Raunki was his mother's first choice

Who just loved to hear the sound of her own voice

She talked and talked and talked and talked
So Jeet just gave up and out he walked!

And then 'twas time to meet Jasmeen
A kurri from Delhi who was only nineteen


She opened the door and said:
"Hi, aap kaisay ho?"
And Jeet looked up and said "Oh no!"

What had happened to our piyaari boli?
That was the problem with the folks in Delhi!


In Ludhiana city, Jeet then met Neeti
An interesting girl though she looked past thirty!

And then down the road he went to see Reena
But her name sounded too much like Gina!

Mummy ji was now getting upset

On seeing how picky Jeet could get!

"Oh tu Jinny gori de naal na compare kar, rajay
Punjabi larkian vee bahut sohnian hundian ay
Yaad rakh ... beautiful te dutiful ...
Ay kurrian gulab de phul vargian hundian ay!"


So next in line was Moni ...
A pretty young woman with a Home Science degree

She was cooking in the kitchen when Jeet got there
Wow! Now his cupboard at least would never be bare!

But she brandished the belNa in such a way

That Jeet signaled his mum "cholo chaliyay!"

Jeet was now quite depressed
His life was more than totally messed

Rano turned him down because he was clean shaven
and Mano said no because he was five-feet-seven!


His mum's favorite words came to mind: "gulab de phul"
But now all he could think of was: "gobi de phul!"

Jeet decided to hit the local dhaba
And sat down to have an alloo da parontha


He just had taken his second bite
When he suddenly choked on a lovely sight

There she stood the woman of his dreams
Balle oh balle ... the queen of queens!

She was the prettiest woman he had ever seen

Prettier than any model in Vogue magazine!

But then he remembered he was in Ludhiana
And asking her for a date was totally mana!

There sure had to be another way
To at least say hi before she walked away


Jeet's eyes were glued in one direction
What was to be his plan of action?

But right at that moment came Jeet's biggest blow
When a kid ran up to her saying ..
"Mummy mummy, let's go!"


Jeet raised his arms in despair
What rotten luck he had to bear!

He called up Madmats the very next day
Saying he was packing his bags for Norway!

I hear out there that girls are real fine

Who think that dark guys are totally sublime

So all ye ladies in the house
Please help my veer find a spouse

He's losing his hair at an alarming rate
So he's got to marry before it's too late!


Madmats too is longing for some jalebi
And how can you forget - a wonderful bhabhi!

So please give Jeet some sound advice
So he never ever needs to roll the dice!!