Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Non-veggies, come back to reality!

New Vegetarians..!

With the bird flu causing a mighty scare throughout the country, my neighbor Susan yelled across the fence she would like to go veggy shopping with me, “Sure,” I said thrilled she had chosen me and not others in the neighborhood who would have been more than happy to have escorted her. We entered the vegetarian store and I saw Susan looking a little out of sorts. “What’s wrong?” I asked anxiously.

“They know I don’t belong here,” she whispered, “it shows all over me!”

“Nonsense,” I said, “you look quite a veg to me, as genuine as a cauliflower!”

“You sure?”

“Never more right,” I said cheerfully, “doesn’t the lady look as cool as a cucumber?” I asked the storekeeper.

“You guys don’t belong here,” said a pimply looking fellow who was carrying a pumpkin in his cart.

“Don’t belong here?” I laughed, “Why? Do I need to have a club membership to shop veg?”

“These are non- vegetarians!” shouted the pimply-faced fellow.

“Look,” I whispered, “maybe there’s no need to make it too obvious.”

“Non-vegetarians!” shouted a crowd running towards us.

“Why you come here?” asked a woman with a foreign accent.

“The same reason as you came here,” I said politely.

“I like to eat veg!”

“Good for you,” I said and looked at Susan, “she says she likes to eat veg!”
”What you eat?” asked the same lady.

“Any thing,” I said, “I’m not too particular you know.”

“You are non- vegetarian,” said the pimply fellow.

“Lets get out of here,” whispered Susan holding my arm.

“Look,” I said looking at the crowd, “Maybe we can shop, and you can leave us alone?”


“Lets get out of here,” said Susan and I felt her fingernails dig into me.

“No,” I said, “nobody has a right to bully us like this. Get out of our way,” I told the crowd.

“No,” said the pimply fellow.

“No,” said the lady with a foreign accent.

“No,” roared the crowd.

“So what do you want to do?” I asked.

“Shop with you!” roared the pimply fellow and the foreign lady and the rest of the crowd.

“Why?” I whispered.

“Because, we are all non vegetarians and we don’t know what to buy!”

“Aha!” I said as I felt Susan’s hand relax, “that there is a tomato!”

“That is an orange sir,” said the storekeeper.

“And those are carrots!”

“Ladies finger sir!” said the storekeeper, and I watched aghast as Susan slipped away with the rest of the crowd. I buried my face in a basket of garlic.

“Not garlic, onions sir..!” said the storekeeper and watched me cry.


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