Some funny tidbits

The husband and wife go to a counsellor after 15 years of marriage.

The counsellor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counsellor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.

The counsellor turns to the husband and says "that is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday, but Friday I golf.



A married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant, the husband kept
looking over at a nearby table where a lady sat in a drunken stupor.

The wife asks "I notice you've been watching that lady for some time
now. Do you know her ?"

"Yes" he replies, "she's my ex-wife, and
has been drinking like that since I left her seven years ago."
"That's unbelievable" the wife replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could
celebrate that long."

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.